The Grail to End All Grails: JPG's Antique Doll Bag

 I've never considered myself to be a "purse person," but this bag is (and has always been) the exception. I first saw it when I was 12, in the Phaidon "Gothic and Lolita" coffee table book, and it has bewitched me ever since. 

Image from the sold out listing on Women's History Museum 

Again, I am not a purse person, so I've never been to clear on how to research the origins of a bag. Every source I've found has this bag tagged as being from the 90's, but I wish I could find details on a specific year or collection! From what I've seen, it came in a few different styles including a handbag, a tote, and a crossbody, and I've seen a red, a green, and a black colorway pop up. Most street snaps, including the one that made me fall in love with this bag (pictured below) include what is either the green or the black/white color way, but after seeing the red, I think that's the one that has captured my heart completely. 

From Phaidon's Gothic and Lolita, the snap that started it all for me. 

From J-Rock Groupies, there she is again! This one is definitely green. 

From a Mercari listing I'm eyeing. Something about the red background is just perfect, and I love the shape and the buckles. 

Of course, as a child, I was unable to drop $200 on a luxury purse. However, as an adult who makes some ill-advised financial choices in the name of collecting, I've started seriously considering biting the bullet and buying it when I see it come up used. The problem that has arisen, though, is that it has been snatched from my cart every single time I have the money for it and muster the courage to press "checkout!" 

This has happened twice on ClosetChild and once on Wunderwelt; before I can even hit the checkout button, I get an error message and the bag is gone, spirited away into the night. Do the powers that be just REALLY want to prevent me from spending a silly amount of money on a purse? Currently, I'm thinking I might just buy one of the Mercari listings I've been looking at. I typically try not to make a shopping service order unless I'm buying multiple items, but this bag makes me willing to eat the shipping cost. This year seems like the time to buy, because I'm looking for a more practical handbag to take on a few trips; my usual bag is my Moitie trunk, but it's massive, unwieldy, and hard to carry around when doing activities. I also own a BtSSB mini heart purse and a Captain Chris pochette, which are both equally impractical (what is with me and silly novelty purses?). 

A purse of this caliber is definitely an "investment," but I don't want to just buy a "placeholder" bag that I can use in the meantime/I would rather spend money on the bag I REALLY, really want. Which is all to say: if you see me walking around with this Gaultier bag in the future, please know that it was a long time coming.

Tag: Get To Know My Blog

 I was tagged by my dear friend Mika (cashmerecrypt) in this post, and I am DELIGHTED that these tag posts are coming back!!! I was around for the DeviantArt and blog memes (remember when "meme" was used to mean written tag posts almost exclusively?), but was too young to actually participate. This is just another part of our small friend group's quest to bring back early 2000's visual kei internet, and I for one love it so much. 

Why did you start blogging in the first place?

I started blogging so that I had a place to put all my thoughts! I am very "academic brained" after four years of English major media analysis, and I was lamenting that I no longer had a reason to write essays. Having a blog lets me do media analysis in a more casual way, and share my hobbies and photos! I don't love social media, but I do love having my own little space on the internet. 

What platform are you using to manage your blog and why did you choose it?

I use Blogger! I wanted to try Neocities, but after learning some rudimentary HTML and giving it my best shot, I realized I probably should just switch to a pre-made platform. I would still love to create a Neocities site in the future, though! 

Have you blogged on other platforms before?

I had a Tumblr, though I'm unsure if that counts? I used Wordpress for a college class where my professor had us writing book reviews in a blog-style format, so needless to say, that kind of put me off of Wordpress lol. I'm not a tech person, so Blogger is fine for me! It does exactly what it needs to do. 

How do you write your posts? For example, in a local editing tool, or in a panel/dashboard that’s part of your blog?

I use the Blogger post thing, which is so incredibly annoying to use via phone. 

When do you feel most inspired to write?

There's zero rhyme or reason to it, sometimes I go a month without wanting to and then make three posts in as many days. 

Do you publish immediately after writing, or do you let it simmer a bit as a draft?

Again, zero rhyme or reason. It happens how it happens! My writing for work is so regimented, my blog is a place for me to do the exact opposite. 

What’s your favourite post on your blog?

Probably my media analyses, my first post ever was on Godchild/The Cain Saga and I had a lot of fun with it! I'd like to do some better and more in-depth ones in the future, I feel like the media posts I have up now aren't particularly insightful and sort of just a way to get my thoughts down. 

Any future plans for your blog? Maybe a redesign, a move to another platform, or adding a new feature?

MORE OUTFIT POSTS, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD. I constantly forget to take outfit photos! I'd also like to do better, more in-depth media analyses, but also more low-effort fun posts like inspiration photo dumps. 

I don't have anyone to tag, but PLEASE do this too and tag me in it! 

What Have I Worn Lately?

 I'm absolutely horrible about remembering to take outfit photos, but here are a few mirror shots of some outfits from the last month or two! Sorry for my makeup products in some shots; I don't have a vanity or dedicated space to do my makeup, so I do it sitting on the floor and store my products in a bin. They inevitably end up strewn around, though. 

We live in a beautiful and very small house, so the room where I get ready is also my sewing room, my work from home office, and my fiancé's music/recording room. We just finally accepted that we weren't using it as a dining room, so we cleared the dining set out to make it easier for it to do triple duty! 

I wore this to stay in on a Saturday and play Corpse Party on my Switch (Yuuya Kizami is my favorite character, I'm not taking any criticism and you can't change my mind). 

Slip, cardigan: thrifted 

Turtleneck: Everlane

Belt: hand-me-down from my grandma 

Other accessories: Metamorphose, Vivienne Westwood, Hot Topic, Thrifted, Moitie 

This was an outfit to help my fiancé's band load their van and set up the merch table pre-show. I planned to stay for the show, but the venue was FREEZING, so I went home and ate the long chicken Burger King sandwich with my cats. I can die happy now that I have a velvet Baby skirt. 

Top, vest: thrifted 

Skirt: Baby, The Stars Shine Bright

Accessories/tights: Vivienne Westwood, handmade, Hot Topic, Target 

I wore this to get tea and spend time with Mika and Sierra a few Sundays ago. The weather was beautiful, we had a delicious high tea, looked through the book Japanese Schoolgirl Inferno, and watched the new Madman's Esprit video together after taking some photos. 

Blazer: thrifted and customized 

Skirt: handmade 

Necklace, blouse, socks: Metamorphose 

Headdress: BtSSB

Jewelry: Moitie, vintage 

Purse: Moitie 

Shoes: Yosuke

I wore this on a date to the mall with my fiancé, we wanted to play mini golf and weirdly one of the only indoor mini golf places around is in a mall? It was really cool to see the mall thriving though, turns out they have a trading card market on Saturdays! 

Top: h.NAOTO Blood 

Skirt: Marble 

Choker, headband: handmade 

Jewelry: Vivienne Westwood, Malice Mizer merch, Hot Topic, Moitie 

Legwear: Metamorphose, Target

Shoes: Angelic Imprint 

I wore this to go to Barnes and Noble solo one Sunday, I just needed to get out of the house. I ended up buying the short story collection 50 Beasts to Break Your Heart by Gennarose Nethercott, I can't recommend that book enough if you're a fan of magical realism! 

Blouse: Black Peace Now 

Cardigan: h.NAOTO Frill 

Skirt: Emily Temple Cute (altered from a JSK into a skirt by me) 

Legwear: Meta, unknown offbrand tights 

Headband: handmade 

Jewelry: Vivienne Westwood, Moitie, Malice Mizer merch 

Rats all, folks! I'm really going to try to get better at taking coord photos this year. Even though I don't wear full lolita coordinates every day, I do mix my pieces into my casual wardrobe on most days, which results in a lot of cool outfits. 

Complicating the Hypothetical

 I'm recently obsessed with Bliss Foster. 

Funnily enough, I accidentally started watching his YouTube channel in tandem with my dear friend Mika, maybe a week after they started watching his content. It's been so fun to discuss his work with someone who ALSO loves fashion and sewing!

Bliss has a million incredible videos, and I highly recommend all of them, but I want to talk about his video on personal style and how his thesis on high fashion can translate to the subcultural fashion I love. 

Breaking this post up with a few of my favorite street snaps, since it's so text-heavy! 

On the outside looking in, I've been told my style looks extremely unique - and in a way, it is. The fact of the matter, though, is that very little about the way I dress is solely unique to me. The way I style things might be a little different from my source material, but I'm always referring to eras and movements that I find inspiring. I'm a Xerox of a Xerox with a pair of funky earrings added on top, and that is 100% ok with me.

In Bliss's video on personal style, he talks about the "shock of recognition" in fashion. "Shock of recognition" refers to the moment when you find a bit of yourself in a piece of art, and deepen your connection to it through feeling seen and understood. In fashion as a medium, this phenomena works differently. Fashion designers build worlds and profiles of hypothetical people, in order to draw in the customers who see a bit of themselves in these hypotheticals. However, with fashion being a wearable medium, Bliss argues that the shock of recognition in fashion comes not from seeing a bit of yourself in the clothing, but from looking in the mirror and seeing a bit of someone else within you. When you wear these clothes, you complicate the hypothetical worldbuilding the designer did simply by being yourself and living life. Fashion is an inherently collaborative medium, and simply wearing your clothing is a way to collaborate with this designer and their world. 

Putting this in the context of lolita and Japanese street fashions is fairly easy, given that every brand is very open about their worldbuilding. Moitie is an abandoned castle decorated with candelabras and dried roses, Baby is a tea party held in an enchanted garden. Juliette et Justine is that terrifying 1960's adaptation of Alice in Wonderland with the taxidermic animals. 

Lolita brands present briefs of their ideal customers: the visual kei bangya who loves vampires, the maiden transported to a modern world, the eccentric Victorian woman - and we connect with certain brands more than others because those briefs speak to us. A lot of this calls to mind the "pure maiden" lifestyle lolita that was mythologized and popularized on LiveJournal in the early 2000's. She was beautiful, composed, drank tea, embroidered, didn't watch TV and always minded her manners. She always wore coordinates perfectly, never laughed too loudly, and projected a mysterious aura. These are all ideas of a person that can help give shape to clothing collections, but who doesn't exist in real life. 

This is where the complication of the hypothetical comes into play. None of us are the hypothetical perfect person for a brand, but these briefs resonate with a small part of us. Brands like Victorian Maiden and Moitie resonate with me because they combine Gothic motifs with whimsy and softness, but I am not a waifish Gothic Victorian with a collection of hair lockets. We complicate the narratives these brands build by wearing their clothes, and that is how you create personal style within established subcultures. Your clothes are unique because you're the one wearing them, not because they are unique to your closet exclusively. Your style is unique because it is on your body, worn with your accessories that you chose, and worn in a way that is comfortable for you.

Clothing as an art form is perfected by interacting with it in life. The art is not finished when the garment is finished, it is finished when the audience wears it into the world. When you buy a piece, whether you're the first owner or the fifth, you are contributing to that garment's shared history. You are now one of the many people who touched it, gave it purpose, and loved it, from the designer to the seamstress to you. You are seeing parts of others reflected back at you, and that's a really important and special thing. Fashion is a collaborative and community-based medium, and I hope it makes you feel less isolated and alone. I hope you can look at these garments and see parts of others within them. I hope you see yourself, too. 

Go out and complicate that hypothetical.