Taking a Break from EGL + What I've Been Wearing

 So, I have a confession: I haven't worn lolita in over a month. The past few years, I've worn lolita at least twice a week (if not more). It felt so exciting to finally be able to wear the fashion regularly as an adult! 

And then my now-husband got a concussion. 

My husband did indy pro wrestling as a hobby, and he had his first big cage match in July (12 days before our wedding). We both knew there was a risk associated with wrestling, but up until then, he'd never had an accident. 

My best friend and I got dressed up to see our partners wrestle. I coorded my new BtSSB torchon lace socks with some vintage platforms and Dir En Grey bag, and I felt adorable. We even got to check out the new PopMart in our mall! 

 During his match, my husband took a move wrong, got a concussion, and stopped breathing for a minute. When he came to, he couldn't remember who the President was, if we'd been married yet, or what he did that morning. We rushed to the hospital, and sitting in the ER waiting room in my coord, I just felt like an idiot. I was terrified, nauseous, and my petticoat waistband was cutting into my stomach. 

My husband has made a full recovery (and is taking a possibly permanent break from wrestling), but I haven't really felt inspired to wear lolita since then. It's very bittersweet for me; I've been obsessed with EGL for over a decade, and have always felt beautiful and happy when I wear it. Below are some photos of 11-14 year old me wearing some very hodgepodge coords; I was lucky enough to have a supportive family, access to eBay, and a family friend that lived near BtSSB San Francisco. 

When I say lolita has been a lifelong love and interest, I truly mean it, which is why it's really hard for me to suddenly not feel that passion and spark. I'm really hoping it's just a phase that will pass; I still love looking at my wardrobe, making coords and flatlays, and keeping up with brands. I've just had no desire to put a coord on. 

I do, however, have a backlog of coords from the past few months, so I'll go ahead and drop those below. 

I wore this to get dinner and celebrate my 25th birthday. Everything is Moitie save for the blouse, which is Meta. 

This was a casual coord for crafting in the park with my friend! JSK is Cornet, blouse is Meta, socks and necklace are VW, headpiece is Marble, shoes are Docs and watch is Moitie. 

A coord for my best friend's bday brunch. Blouse is Excentrique, bustier is IW, skirt is handmade, jabot is Sheglit, canotier is AtePie, gloves are Moitie, socks are Meta, shoes are Yosuke and bag is Jean Paul Gaultier. 

A coord for a butterfly show date with my husband! It also matched my Blind Guardian LP. OP is Kuno:Noku, arm warmers and canotier are AtePie, jewelry is Moitie and Etsy. 

This is probably my favorite coord of the year. Everything is Moitie save for the AtePie blouse, offbrand tights and Yosuke shoes. I got a half-wig that matches my hair so I can play with length, and I love it! 

Now, for the fun part: if I haven't been wearing lolita, what HAVE I been wearing? 

I've always had a hard time defining and finding my personal style, and while I don't want to intellectualize every part of my life, I think a big part of that comes from my very categorical, compartmentalized way of thinking. I tend to go very hard into one specific thing, and then I inevitably feel constricted and move on to my next source of inspiration. It's taken me a long time to be able to tell my brain that it's actually ok to combine different categories of things, and I think that's when I was able to find my actual "personal style." Though who knows, this could just be another phase of experimentation! 

I like EGL because it's so rigid and rules-based, but I've also enjoyed experimenting with other Japanese-fashion inspiration. One of my friends described these outfits as "shoujo manga protag going to a visual kei show," which is basically all I could ever hope to be. 

I've noticed a big benefit of not wearing lolita is that I feel better about my body. As much as I love the fashion, most Japanese brands having a one size fits all policy isn't great for body image. I fit most brands, provided the piece has shirring of some kind (weirdly, Marble is the only brand that I can fit without shirring, no idea what's going on there) but I'm a Western mid-size with kind of chubby upper arms, so sometimes putting on a blouse and almost hulking out of it is a fact of life. It's nice to not feel restricted or sucked in by my clothes, and to even let my stomach see daylight from time to time haha. It's kind of a relief to get some perspective and realize that even if I feel like a massive monster trying to squeeze into a BtSSB blouse, my body is perfectly normal outside of EGL. 

I still love Japanese fashion in general, but I'm buying a lot more from Axes Femme, Hysteric Glamour, Deorart and Ozz On lately. I don't think I'll ever be fully done with lolita, but I might downsize and list a few things on LaceMarket in the coming months. I don't want to make any snap decisions based on a small slump, but if I decide to wear lolita less overall, I'll probably just keep my Moitie and velvet BtSSB pieces. No sense in letting beautiful clothes sit and collect dust! 

That was a long, rambling post, but I think that's all for now! Thank you for reading my thoughts and feelings, it's always appreciated. 

5 Album Flatlays for ILD!

 It's once again time for the summer iteration of the English-speaking lolita fashion community's hallowed LiveJournal holiday! For those who don't know, there is both a winter and a summer International Lolita Day, unofficially celebrated on the first Saturdays of June and December. Most comms host meetups, and even people celebrating solo will usually get dressed up and do something special for themselves. There's really not a huge significance to it, but I think it's a very cute tradition and I love that it's been upheld! 

I didn't end up doing anything for ILD yesterday; I went to a pool party baby shower for my fiancé and I's friends and then saw The Phoenician Scheme with my dad and sister (so good, highly recommend). Both wonderful activities, but they did not lend themselves well to wearing a full coord haha. So I thought I'd play around with my wardrobe today in the spirit of ILD and do a little project I've wanted to do for a while: creating coords based on albums! 

I picked five of my favorite LPs to start with. I'd love to do this project with Spotify or my CDs for more variety, though using my CDs seems sort of like easy mode; they're mostly visual kei, which feels like a cop-out when it comes to lolita styling. Only two of the coords I made ended up being less "my style" and feeling more experimental for me, but they all definitely forced me to look at my pieces in different ways! This was a really fun way to experiment within my own closet, and if you're in a styling rut I highly recommend it!! 

1. Friends by The Bolshoi 

Coord rundown

OP: Kuno:Noku Velveteen Cross OP (2022) 

Socks, nun collar: Moi Meme Moitie 

Arm warmers, fascinator: Atelier Pierrot 

Shoes: Yosuke USA

Jewelry: Etsy, Hot Topic 

I wanted to lean into the tones of the album cover, while also making a nod to the track Sunday Morning with the more religious collar and full leg coverage. I added the fascinator and arm warmers because something seems distinctly "parody of 80's Madonna party fashion" about a ridiculous hairpiece and some lace arm covers. 

"Innocence and lies don't make a perfect match/leave your door unlatched/I know a word can be untrue/and yet still move you." Away, The Bolshoi 

The Bolshoi are, in my opinion, one of the most underrated new wave bands of the 80's. I own all three of their albums (Giants, Friends, and Lindy's Party) and I cannot fathom why they didn't take off. I always wonder if maybe the market was just oversaturated with a similar sound? Even then, I do feel like they're much more inventive lyrically and musically than a lot of bands in their genre. I think my best description of them is if Oingo Boingo and INXS gave birth to a somber version of Willy Wonka. I got this LP on eBay, and I believe I paid $16 for it. It has fully paid itself off at this point on sheer number of plays alone. 

2. Oh Perilous World by Rasputina 

Coord Rundown

OP: Elfie OP by Atelier Pierrot (2019) 

Shawl, necklace: vintage 

Bonnet, gloves: Moi Meme Moitie 

Shoes: Spring Step (eBay)

Ideally I'd be wearing this with black lace tights, but they reaaally didn't photograph well in the flatlay. Mary Todd Lincoln plays a role in this album's internal storyline as the tyrannical queen of Florida following her husband's death, so I drew inspiration from her mourning attire, as well as the anachronistic mix of seasons mentioned in the first track, to create a Victorian mourning-inspired outfit that includes both a cotton summer dress and a velvet shawl. 

"I will give you my red color/to take away your sickly pallor/for you are so very choleric of complexion/please beware the mounting sun and all dejection." 1816 The Year Without a Summer, Rasputina 

My dad is fantastic at most things, and terrible at holding on to Christmas presents until Christmas. A few years ago (when I was still living at home) I was having a really rough week, so my dad asked if I wanted to go record shopping with him and get coffee. I asked on a whim if the record shop had anything by Rasputina, and I think my stomach actually flipped when the clerk said "we just got Oh Perilous World in, it should be in the 'just in' section if you want to look." I couldn't believe my luck; I believe Filthy Bonnet, Melora Creager's record label, only put out about 150 of these LPs, and this one had the original poster included! I about lost my mind, but it was $80 and I was a college student at the time, so I actually left it behind. My dad insisted on getting it for me as a Christmas gift because I couldn't let it go that I'd found it, and then promptly said "I think you should just have it now, don't you?" when we got home. It's one of the most cherished records in my collection and always will be. 

3. Ashes by Christian Death 

Coord rundown

JSK: Rose Cross JSK by Moi Meme Moitie (2025)

Headpiece, capelet, gloves: Moi Meme Moitie 

Blouse: Atelier Pierrot

Jewelry: Malice Mizer merch, Hot Topic

Socks: Metamorphose 

Shoes: Yosuke USA

The cross motifs felt like a no-brainer for Christian Death, maybe even a little bit too on the nose. This album contains a lot of beautiful piano parts contrasted with Christian Death's traditionally deathrock sound, so I wanted to style something really old school Elegant Gothic with the giant Mana-sama heels and excess of Moitie. This would also ideally be worn with lace tights layered under the OTKs, to shield the world from seeing two whole inches of thigh. 

"The antiquity of that one moment/how filthy his shoes had been/and how soon we forget the smell of survival/blanket it with roses and sick tears." When I was Bed, Christian Death 

It's incredible to me that this album came out in 1985, only 3 years after Only Theatre of Pain, simply because the sound is just so different. Only Theatre of Pain is the sound I would argue is most associated with Christian Death; closer to punk than to post-punk or goth, very frantic and disjointed but ultimately danceable. Ashes is much more a piece of art than an album, with uncomfortable noise tracks, babies crying, spoken word, a German lullaby and tinkling piano stringing together what ultimately amounts to about 4 songs. It reminds me a lot more of Sopor Aeturnus than it does of Christian Death, which could be why it's one of only two Christian Death albums in my physical collection. 

4. Darken Your Doorstep, Argyle Goolsby and the Roving Midnight 

Coord rundown 

Skirt: Velveteen Skirt by Baby the Stars Shine Bright (2006) 

Blouse, headpiece: Baby the Stars Shine Bright 

Necklace: vintage 

Earrings: Moitie

Socks: Metamorphose

Shoes: Fluevog (eBay) 

This one was a challenge, and I don't know that I'm 100% satisfied with it, but it was fun to experiment! I don't own a ton of browns or lighter-colored pieces, and I don't ever really style this skirt with anything but black, so I was interested in seeing how it looks with ivory. I'd ideally carry my brown leather satchel purse with this, to tie in the brown and buckles on the shoes. I tried to pull the burgundy velvet in more with the rosary and flower necklace, which I also thought was a nice nod to the track on this album "Rose Grows Red." 

"As I whisper gently/and we both go crazy/strike the root up from the soil/relocate the annoyance/snag my wrist/it leads the way." Rose Grows Red, Argyle Goolsby

I actually purchased this LP (and had it autographed) all the way back in 2018, when I got to go see Goolsby perform solo! It was my first time meeting a celebrity I really admired, and I was completely starstruck. He's genuinely just the most friendly and normal guy, which is the total opposite of his public and stage persona. My fiancé and I emailed him a bit ago to see if he was still offering minister services and would officiate our wedding, and he sent us a personal reply back saying he wasn't offering them due to touring, but that he was happy for us and wishing us the best. I've considered printing and framing that email lol. Hopefully we'll be seeing Blitzkid again when they come through our city this year, we got to see their reunion tour in 2022 and it was a blast! 

5. Conspiracy by King Diamond 

Coord Rundown 

JSK: Good Luck, circa late 90's/early 2000's

Blouse: Peace Now 

Tie: Moitie 

Necklace: Malice Mizer merch 

Earrings: Hot Topic 

Socks: Metamorphose

Shoes: Angelic Imprint 

Headdress: Marble

This JSK cost me $7! Good Luck are definitely a niche "old school ita enthusiast" brand, but they genuinely were making nice-quality pieces considering that they were technically a costume shop. I was really excited to see this pop up on Mercari JP, and considering it cost about as much as a fancy coffee, it was easy to say yes to. I really only ever style it with tights under OTKs and boots or heels to really play up the Mana leg factor, because the skirt on this bad boy is SHORT. I saw somebody online styling it with a white underskirt, which I might need to try. I thought it was a great wild card piece to style for this album, and I definitely leaned into the tacky factor with the coffin earrings, raschel lace and giant pop of red. This is another coord that's a little out of my typical comfort zone. 

"Then let us make you an eternal deal/you will attend to the graves/you'll give us the house back and keep in mind/that we only come here at night!" Sleepless Nights, King Diamond

I always feel like King Diamond as a project is a little more polarizing than Mercyful Fate, if only because the albums are so story-oriented. Mercyful Fate are very accessible if you're into metal; King Diamond feels more to me like you have to both be into metal and have a flare for the dramatic and storytelling to some degree. With his voice in general though, you kind of either love him or hate him. I'm personally into it, but I can see why maybe you wouldn't want to listen to a guy shrieking. I frequently lose bar TouchTunes privileges because of him. 

I had a ton of fun doing these, and I'd like to do more in the future! Music is a big inspiration to me in general, and this is a cool way to use it to mix my wardrobe up a little. Until next time! 

I met KAMIJO! + The Best EGL Cotton Petticoat Tutorial

 I HATE synthetics. Hate, hate, hate them with a burning passion. So, since my pathetic MAM petticoat has finally cotton ratty enough for me to consider putting it out of its misery, I decided that instead of spending $40+ on a new synthetic petti, I was just going to spend $24 and some elbow grease and sew myself one that WOULDN'T make me miserable in the summer. 

Calling it a cotton petticoat might be a little disingenuous; the base of the garment/every part of it that touches my body is indeed cotton, but I DID use organza ruffles and soft tulle on the outside to give it shape. I decided to do this after looking at the way Sheglit does their petticoats, which is essentially a cotton skirt cover with ruffles, with an organza over layer to smooth things out. 

Sheglit's 2021 Bustle Petticoat 

I didn't take process pictures, because I'm horrible, but I wanted to write out what I did in case anyone else is in the market for making a cotton petticoat! I know I personally had a hard time finding info online. 

The finished petticoat right after sewing/steaming 

To make this, all you need to know how to do is sew a basic elastic-waist gathered skirt, gather ruffles, and do French seams. 

After pre-washing and drying my fabric, I set out measuring the cotton skirt that would be the base for this petticoat. I determined I wanted a length of about 15 inches, and then calculated my hem circumference by doubling my largest measurement (my hips). If you're built a little straighter/narrower through the hip area, you can double your waist measurement, but if you have a butt you typically want to do double your hip measurement for the hem and use your hip as your "waist" to avoid the petticoat clinging. This left me with a hem circumference of 84 inches, and a waist circumference of 42 inches. I divided this again into two panels with a hem measuring 42 inches flat, and a waist measuring 21 inches flat. Connecting those two points with a slightly diagonal 17-inch line (2 inches added for waist and hem allowance) gave me my pattern pieces. 

After cutting these pieces out I French seamed them together, folded and ironed the hem, folded and ironed the waistband, and went back to my machine to sew the hem and waist channels. Then it was time for the fun part (in actuality, the worst part): the ruffles. 

I typically wear Gothic, so I didn't want a cupcake-y petticoat. Knowing this, I started my ruffles just shy of halfway down the skirt to create an A-line adjacent shape. There's one small ruffle measuring about 3 inches wide, and then a large one measuring around 6 inches wide. I French seamed lengths of organza together to make the ruffles, hemmed them with a zigzag stitch and a rolled hem, and then finished the raw top edge with an overlock before gathering and straight stitching them to the outside of the cotton skirt. 

After adding the ruffles, I needed to smooth the shape out so that it doesn't show up as lumps under my dresses. For this, I doubled over about two yards of soft tulle net, gathered it down, and stitched it over top of the ruffles. 

After this step, all that's left it to add your elastic and sew the channels closed! I did three small elastic channels as opposed to one large one, because I personally find that it's more comfortable and distributes the weight better. 

This is what the inside looks like (post-wash, ignore the white fluff from the dryer). All French seamed, and only the cotton touches your body! Even with a synthetic layer on the outside, it is significantly cooler and comfier than synthetic petticoats I've worn. 

And here is what it looks like worn under a dress. It might not be poofy enough for some people's tastes, but it's perfect for what I like!

I didn't want to write about it until I wore it for a bit, and my New York trip to see/meet Kamijo was a perfect pressure test. Happy to report after being shoved in a suitcase, crammed into a concert and the subway, and thrown directly into the washer/dryer, it's held up beautifully! I think the dryer actually made it even springier and fluffier haha. As a bonus, here is the photo op I got with Kamijo, featuring the cute Castlevania edit my best friend Megan did for me. The lighting in our venue was AWFUL, she made it so much cuter! 

I was basically a deer in headlights, totally starstruck 

I really can't believe I met him after like 12+ years of fandom, it's surreal. He was amazing live! Sorry to jumpscare you all by putting this at the end haha, but I will say a cotton petticoat is basically ideal for concerts! Combined with cotton bloomers you can basically avoid butt sweat almost entirely. 

The Grail to End All Grails: JPG's Antique Doll Bag

 I've never considered myself to be a "purse person," but this bag is (and has always been) the exception. I first saw it when I was 12, in the Phaidon "Gothic and Lolita" coffee table book, and it has bewitched me ever since. 

Image from the sold out listing on Women's History Museum 

Again, I am not a purse person, so I've never been to clear on how to research the origins of a bag. Every source I've found has this bag tagged as being from the 90's, but I wish I could find details on a specific year or collection! From what I've seen, it came in a few different styles including a handbag, a tote, and a crossbody, and I've seen a red, a green, and a black colorway pop up. Most street snaps, including the one that made me fall in love with this bag (pictured below) include what is either the green or the black/white color way, but after seeing the red, I think that's the one that has captured my heart completely. 

From Phaidon's Gothic and Lolita, the snap that started it all for me. 

From J-Rock Groupies, there she is again! This one is definitely green. 

From a Mercari listing I'm eyeing. Something about the red background is just perfect, and I love the shape and the buckles. 

Of course, as a child, I was unable to drop $200 on a luxury purse. However, as an adult who makes some ill-advised financial choices in the name of collecting, I've started seriously considering biting the bullet and buying it when I see it come up used. The problem that has arisen, though, is that it has been snatched from my cart every single time I have the money for it and muster the courage to press "checkout!" 

This has happened twice on ClosetChild and once on Wunderwelt; before I can even hit the checkout button, I get an error message and the bag is gone, spirited away into the night. Do the powers that be just REALLY want to prevent me from spending a silly amount of money on a purse? Currently, I'm thinking I might just buy one of the Mercari listings I've been looking at. I typically try not to make a shopping service order unless I'm buying multiple items, but this bag makes me willing to eat the shipping cost. This year seems like the time to buy, because I'm looking for a more practical handbag to take on a few trips; my usual bag is my Moitie trunk, but it's massive, unwieldy, and hard to carry around when doing activities. I also own a BtSSB mini heart purse and a Captain Chris pochette, which are both equally impractical (what is with me and silly novelty purses?). 

A purse of this caliber is definitely an "investment," but I don't want to just buy a "placeholder" bag that I can use in the meantime/I would rather spend money on the bag I REALLY, really want. Which is all to say: if you see me walking around with this Gaultier bag in the future, please know that it was a long time coming.